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Butt ToysI want to put stuff up my butt
Because it will feel good
I want to put stuff up my butt
I don't know if I should

Here's a thing I found right here!
Should I put it up my rear?
It is long and thin, filled with vitamin B
Carrots are so good for me!

No! Do not put a carrot up your butt
It might get lost in there!
Do not put a carrot up your butt
No produce in your derriere

Here's a thing that has a string!
And a handle for extra zing!
This can not get lost you see
Because I can pull it out of me

No! Do not put a jump rope up your butt.
Strings have places for germs to hide.
Do not put a jump rope up your butt.
Only non-porous things should go inside!

Well what is this? A toy you say?
Non-porous, smooth, made for anal play?
No pointy parts that will make me tear
And a flared base so it won't get lost up there

Yes!  Put that sex toy up your butt!
Push it in slowly giving time to adjust.
Put that sex toy up your butt!
If it hits your prostate, that's a plus!

Ouchie! Ouch! This is not good
This will not go in like it should
It pulls and pulls, I feel it pinch
It will not go inside, no not one inch!

Wait, I know just what to do
Cover the toy with shampoo!
That will make it slip and slide
and it will pop right on inside

No! Do not put shampoo in your butt!
Although it may be tempting
shampoo isn't anal friendly.
The rectum is a delicate thing

Oh, what is this inside this tube?
"Water-based personal lube"?
"Glycerine and Paraben free"?
This sounds like just the thing that's right for me!

Yes! I love this toy up in my butt!
It went in easy now that it's slick
I love this toy inside my butt!
It feels so good, I'm cumming quick!


Write the Author: Laura Rad

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This is creative, informative and hysterically funny! Thanks, Laura Rad, from an anal enthusiast.

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